


I Said Always

by ofpinetreesandcampfires



Series: Chowen Fics [4]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV), Julie and The Phantoms (TV) RPF
Genre: JatP Day- Jan 29, M/M, Panic Attacks, These boys care so much about each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-13 19:34:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29158971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofpinetreesandcampfires/pseuds/ofpinetreesandcampfires
Summary: What else can I say to convince you?I'm not gonna leave youOh, I'm here to stay, yeahCome on take my handRest your head upon my shoulderI will help you standPlease just let me help you--- Always, The Veronicas***“Where’s Owen?” Charlie asks as he drops his jacket onto the couch. Jeremy hands him the glass of water and gestures towards the bedroom.“Today was really fun and we got a lot of stuff done, but… after that…” Jeremy shrugs. “You going back to the hotel or staying here?”“I can’t just leave him, Jer.” Charlie’s voice goes soft. “Not now.”
Relationships: Charlie Gillespie & Owen Patrick Joyner & Jeremy Shada, Charlie Gillespie/Owen Patrick Joyner
Series: Chowen Fics [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2088375
Comments: 6
Kudos: 63





	1. Owen

**Author's Note:**

> Well, there were some shitty fans after that last live on what my friends and I have dubbed JatP Day. I wanted to write Owen's reaction because we all know it's probably super stressful for him with his anxiety.
> 
> Usual RPF disclaimers: None of this is real. No disrespect is meant, so suspend reality.

Jeremy pulls Owen inside as the blonde shoves his hat down over his eyes. Charlie stops to talk to the girls waiting outside the apartment because that’s just the kind of person he is. But it’s more of a rushed conversation to get them out of there. After a few moments, he comes inside and shucks his jacket.

Jeremy’s in the kitchen, grabbing Owen a glass of water while Charlie makes his way into the main space of the apartment. He looks around for the blonde but he’s nowhere to be found.

“Where’s Owen?” Charlie asks as he drops his jacket onto the couch. Jeremy hands him the glass of water and gestures towards the bedroom.

“Today was really fun and we got a lot of stuff done, but… after that…” Jeremy shrugs. “You going back to the hotel or staying here?”

“I can’t just leave him, Jer.” Charlie’s voice goes soft. “Not now.”

The other boy gives him a hug, a tight one that makes him hold the glass of water far away from his friend. He understands that Jeremy’s overwhelmed too, that he wants to stay, but Charlie knows how to handle Owen when he retreats into himself and they both know that Owen doesn’t need to be crowded. 

Jeremy shoves his hat over his ears and gives Charlie a weak smile before he leaves, dipping his head into his jacket to hide his face if the fans are still outside. Charlie pushes the door shut behind it and locks it with a click of finality. 

The apartment, so lively this morning, full of singing and dancing and Charlie doing weird accents, is so quiet now. Owen’s sequestered back in his bedroom and Charlie shuts the lights on his way. He takes a sip of icy water and heads around the corner where Owen’s bedroom is.

Charlie finds Owen sitting on his bed, back against the wall in sweatpants and a t-shirt, a blanket wrapped around himself.

“Do you want some water?” Charlie asks him softly as he enters the room. There’s no door to his bedroom and Charlie hesitates before he goes any further than the tiny hallway to his room. Owen shakes his head, won’t look at him. His whole body is hunched in on himself and Charlie can’t stand it anymore. He sets the water down on Owen’s desk and crawls into bed next to him. Charlie reaches over Owen and turns down the light, so that it’s not harsh light but the soft glow. When he’s going back to sitting, Owen opens the blanket and grabs Charlie.

“Oof.” He lands in Owen’s lap and feels arms wrap tightly around him. So tight he can hardly breathe, but he doesn’t care. He and Owen might joke around and get on each other’s nerves and have fun, but there’s also moments like this. Where he knows to be serious. “Owen?”

He can feel harsh, hot breath against his neck, but not in a way that means Owen wants him. It’s heavy and fast and too much, too much, too much.

“I… I can’t… I…” Owen’s voice wobbles and breaks and he kind of pushes Charlie off his lap. Charlie sits next to him but doesn’t touch him. Knows he needs space.

Charlie wonders what he’s thinking. Wish he could get inside the blonde’s head.

* * *

“Owen?” He blinks away the haze of black encroaching on his vision and finds Charlie sitting on the end of the bed, eyes soft.

Owen can’t breathe, can’t do anything but shake his head. Tears sting as they stream down his cheeks, but he doesn’t have the energy to wipe them away. His whole body quivers and he can’t control himself. This whole thing is shit. People have no respect for someone’s privacy. This was supposed to be a fun time with Jeremy and Charlie and even Maddie on the live. Rewatching the show and just… having fun. 

Now it’s ruined.

“Owen, hey.” Charlie stands up and walks around to where Owen sits, hesitant like he’s approaching a skittish horse. He holds his hands out in front of him and doesn’t touch Owen at all. “Hey, calm down.” He rests one hand next to Owen’s, not touching but close enough to feel the warmth of his skin. “It’s 2021. You’re in your apartment. Your name is Owen Patrick Joyner.” Owen tries to focus, but it isn’t working. His body shakes and he tries to focus on something that isn’t the weight of all this bullshit. The fact that people feel entitled to his personal life and more time than he gave them today and it just… it sucks.

“I can’t.” He whines. The words won't come out past the fact that he can't get enough air into his lungs. “Charlie, I can’t breathe.” Owen feels like he's choking, the words getting caught in his throat.

Charlie bites his lip. That much Owen can see through the haze. “Okay, let’s maybe try something else.” He slides onto the bed, still far away to not be crowding Owen in, but close enough to be a reassuring presence. “Okay, O.” His voice stays soft and calm and Owen knows that Charlie’s probably been looking up different ways to help him through an anxiety or panic attack. “Tell me five things you can see.”

Owen’s eyes flick between Charlie’s eyes and mouth before jumping around the room. His voice shakes when he answers. “Drum sticks. My drumsticks are on the dresser,” he stutters, pulling the blanket tighter around himself.

Charlie nods, sliding his hand a fraction of an inch closer to Owen’s.

“Your eyes are hazel. They… they’ve got little green and gold flecks in them.” Owen blinks, hand not near Charlie’s curling into the comforter, rumpled from last night’s activities. “The comforter is blue.” He glances down at his hand and smiles, his shaking becoming less pronounced with each statement. “Your shirt looks stupid.” Owen laughs but it sounds like a sob and watches through watery eyes as Charlie gives him a playful scowl, a lopsided smile. “A picture of Bindi.” He tries to think of something else, but all he can see when he closes his eyes is the huge pile of creepy fan mail at his parents’ house, the wedding ring someone thought appropriate to send, the fear that people will show up at his apartment.

His breathing picks up again and it’s like someone’s squeezing his lungs tight together.

“Owen, hey.” Charlie touches Owen’s hand with his for a moment, a single tap, so quick that if Owen wasn’t hypersensitive, he wouldn’t have noticed. But it works, because the tightness in his lungs eases off and he takes a deep gulp of oxygen. “One more thing.”

His eyes flick across Charlie’s face and finally land on something glinting in the low light “Your earrings,” he says, breath still shaky and painful. “I love them.” His hands loosen around the blanket as he starts to come out of his shell. It still hurts to breathe and there’s still a tinge of black at the edge of his vision, but he forces himself to focus on Charlie.

“Uh, thanks.” Charlie’s cheeks turn a pretty shade of pink. After a minute of just staring at each other, the only sound Owen’s heavy breathing, he shakes his head. “Okay, moving on.”

Owen goes on to stutter through four things he can touch. “Your skin,” Owen whispers as he curls his pinkie around Charlie’s, not yet ready for full-on contact with him but this is enough. Other things include Charlie's hair, the pillow at his back, the covers under him, his clothes against his skin. He gulps down air halfway through the three things he can hear— the howling winter wind outside, Charlie's soft breathing, his own heartbeat— due to the panic attack rearing its ugly head again.

“Owen, you’re doing so great.” Charlie’s moved closer and closer each time Owen gets through another step, like a reward. “I’m proud of you.”

Tears well in Owen’s eyes as he slumps over and leans into Charlie, pressing his forehead against his shoulder. The touch crackles against his skin, like fireworks, and he can't tell if it's from hypersensitivity or because it's Charlie. He's hoping it's the latter.

“Two more, O,” Charlie whispers. “You can do it. Two things you can smell. One thing you can taste.”

Owen bites his lip and furrows his brow. God, there's so many different things going on in his brain right now. He's trying to stave off the panic simmering somewhere inside him. He takes another deep breath. “Lavender.” At least he's not stuttering anymore. “The plug-in smells like lavender.” He keeps it in his room because it helps center him and helps calm him down.

Charlie's cheeks heat up and he presses one to Owen's forehead. “You always smell like lavender,” he whispers. “Even when we’re not here, in your room, there’s hints of it.”

“Some things never change.” Owen sits up and shrugs. “Some things do.” He leans back in, presses her nose to Charlie's pulse point, and inhales.

“What're you doing?” Charlie asks, pulling away somewhat. Owen lifts his head. He notices Charlie’s nose crinkle like he doesn’t know whether to feel confused or disgusted.

“That's my second thing I can smell.” Owen smiles softly. “You.”

Charlie chuckles and knocks his shoulder against Owen's. “That was cheesy, O.” But he's laughing and Owen can finally laugh without choking on a sob.

“What's the last one?” Owen keeps his voice soft, still a little sensitive to loud noises.

He feels Charlie swallow from where his head rests on his collarbone. His scent is some kind of mixture between the lavender that hovers in the air, which permeates the air, and a muskier smell that leaves a tang at the back of Owen’s nose.

“Taste.” Charlie's voice cracks.

Owen licks his lips. There's a trace of something at the corner of his mouth so he chases it down. He licks his lips again and a hint of some kind of sweet mint hits his taste buds. He's not the biggest fan of mint, so he knows it’s not something he’s eaten recently. He pulls back from the safe haven of Charlie's arms and stares at him.

“What?” Charlie shifts.

“Mint,” Owen breathes. “I can taste mint.”

Charlie bites his lip, cheeks looking rosy in the dim light. “That's, uh, I was sucking on a mint, before the live.”

Owen feels his cheeks heat up and he knows they’re mirroring Charlie’s, but he could care less. He remembers giving Charlie a quick peck before they got out of the car, after the live was over, and Jeremy teasing them. “Oh.”

Charlie’s smile fades somewhat and Owen wonders why. He’s fine. There’s nothing to worry about anymore. The panic subsided because of Charlie.

“Charlie. Everything’s okay now. I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine.” He shakes his head and wraps his arms around Owen’s shoulder. Owen presses his nose against Charlie’s pulse point and inhales. “I know this is a shitty situation, but we’re here for you… I’m here for you.”

Owen falls into Charlie, curling up on his lap. It’s an awkward fit, with Owen being taller than Charlie, but they make it work. Charlie leans against the headboard and sighs, cupping the back of Owen’s head. It’s reassuring and Charlie runs his fingers through Owen’s long hair, pulling it from its bun and massaging his scalp. Owen tries not to, but tears drip onto Charlie’s skin and pool in his clavicle like a mini sea. There’s still tension in his body, still shaking, but he feels his body relax inch by inch. 

Charlie’s hold tightens on him and Owen shudders.

“Did Jer go back to the hotel?” he asks as he shuffles over to give the both of them space and rests his head on his folded knee.

Charlie shoots him a small smile and crosses his legs, his thigh knocking against Owen’s, skin warm and reassuring. “Yeah, he, uh, he’s probably gonna leave tomorrow. Get back to Carolynn. But he said he’d come over for breakfast!”

“Is he going to sing the song?”

“Probably?” 

Owen wiggles his toes against Charlie’s thigh and scrunches up his nose. “I love our fans, but I hate those few crazies that think this is okay. I’m glad you’re here, Charlie.”

“You trust me enough to be here,” Charlie says, lips curling up into a soft smile. Owen’s shoulders relax and he rests his head on his knees again. “C’mere?” Charlie untucks his legs and holds out his hand.

The blonde crawls over and tucks himself into the space Charlie’s provided him and snuggles against him, bare skin against her cheek. He realizes that Charlie probably took his shirt off at some point. Owen takes another shuddering breath and presses himself closer, the heat of Charlie’s skin helping to calm the tingling nerves under his skin. Charlie’s skin is on display and Owen can feel him breathe, matches it with his own. 

Charlie hums and snakes his arms around Owen’s back, reaching under his shirt to smooth his hands against the blonde’s spine. “Feeling better?”

Owen mumbles and mouths at Charlie’s pulse point, feeling his heartbeat under his tongue. “Mhm.” The smell of lavender surrounds him, calming him even more. There’s still some part of his brain that’s in panic mode, ready to jump at any moment, but the rest of him relaxes, almost melting into the mattress. His skin still feels sensitive, tingling like he’s got Spidey-senses when it comes to Charlie.

Owen’s feet hang off the edge of the bed because of how they’re situated. Charlie hums and the sound vibrates against Owen’s ear. His nails continue to trace patterns up and down the part of his spine Charlie can reach and Charlie presses a kiss to his forehead. God, after everything tonight, just feeling the softness of the moment, of Charlie’s skin against his own, lulls him into a state of calm.

It’s strange to feel this way. After an amazing day at the studio, doing a live with Maddie and screaming the lyrics to their favorite songs from the show, the creepy fans finding his address… He just wants to settle down and calm down.

Owen yawns and Charlie chuckles. “You look like a kitten. Should I sing that song?” Owen tilts his head up to nudge his nose against the underside of Charlie’s chin. “Soft kitty, warm kitty—”

He yelps as Owen nips at his chin and smacks his hand over Charlie’s mouth. “Continue and I’m going to go sleep on the couch… by myself.”

Charlie's brows furrow and Owen chuckles. “You would rather sleep alone than your boyfriend?”

Owen shoots up, resting his hands on either side of Charlie and twisting his body to look directly at him. “Boyfriend?”

Charlie blanches before his cheeks turn a bright red. “I, uh, I didn't mean to say it like that.” Owen's eyes narrow. “So, you don't want to be my boyfriend? We'll just be best friends who kiss all the time?”

That's literally what they've been doing since they started sharing a bed— made it easier when they had guests sleep over anyway— but they've never actually defined what they are. Kissing friends, friends with benefits... but never boyfriends. Not until now at least. 

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” Charlie brings one hand up to flick Owen’s forehead before he returns it to her back. “I just didn’t think it was a good time to ask,” Charlie whispers into the candlelit room. “Not with everything going on and the whole world in chaos.”

Owen yawns so wide his jaw cracks and rests his head back down on Charlie’s collarbone. “Can we talk about this in the morning?” He huffs against Charlie’s neck. “I think I’m too emotionally drained for this conversation.”

“Yeah, tomorrow.” Charlie cups the back of Owen’s neck and Owen feels comfortable enough to fall into an exhausted slumber. He knows she could probably change into PJs but he’s too comfortable to move. At least he dressed in sweats all day, so it’s not like falling asleep in jeans and a t-shirt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a fun second chapter to follow this heaviness.
> 
> Let me know what you guys thought! I love hearing your comments!


	2. Charlie

Charlie turns to look at Owen in the open doorway of his room one more time. Owen’s curled up around Charlie’s abandoned pillow, mouth pressed into his own bicep, a little bit of drool on the fabric below him. His chest rises and falls steadily as he breathes, such a huge difference from last night. His face is still a little red from the tears but Owen eventually got up in the middle of the night to put on PJs and wash up before crawling back into bed and falling asleep with his head on Charlie’s chest.

Now, Charlie sneaks out of the room, taking a deep breath before padding down the hall and around the corner. The events of last night seem to seep from his shoulders with every step he takes from the room. 

He hears humming down the hall and he turns the corner to see Jeremy in the long kitchen. He’s shaking his butt as he sings and Charlie can hear bacon popping in the pan. There’s batter on the counter and it smells like the pancake kind.

_ Bacon pancakes, makin' bacon pancakes, _

_ Take some bacon and I'll put it in a pancake... _

“Goooooooood morning,” Charlie says as he slides in, bumping his hip against Jeremy’s and making him jump. His elbow knocks into the bowl of batter and it goes flying everywhere. “Shit!” Charlie tries to grab it, fumbles, and the whole thing knocks against the counter on its way down and splatters everywhere.

He cringes and hopes Owen’s still fast asleep because that was  _ loud.  _ Jeremy looks at him with a smile, eyes crinkled and sparkling and the both of them are laughing.

“Come on, come on,” Jeremy says as he grabs a whole roll of paper towels off the counter. “We gotta clean this up before Owen wakes up. He’ll freak out!” The guitarist chuckles and sticks his fingers in one of the puddles glooping over the sides of the counter and puts it in his mouth.

“This is good. Is there a little bit of maple syrup in here?”

“Yeah, just something extra.”

“I didn’t even know Owen  _ had _ maple syrup.”

Jeremy shakes his head and shoves a wad of battered up paper into the trash. It’s not as much as Charlie thought it would be, especially with how much the three of them eat. “He didn’t. Remember, he didn’t even have ketchup in his fridge!” Charlie nods. “So I got the breakfast stuff from the store near the hotel.”

“Did anyone see you?” Charlie’s heart pounds. He’s worried that Owen will wake up to a swarm of people outside his house. He’ll spiral again and Charlie doesn’t want that for him. This was supposed to be a fun weekend, full of jamming and the show and being with friends, not hiding away from fans who think it’s okay to stalk someone to their private home.

“I don’t think so. I had my mask on and my hood up.” He nods. “I hope nothing else happens today. We don’t need this shit.  _ He _ doesn’t need this shit.”

“Yeah.”

Charlie and Jeremy work side by side to clean up Owen’s pristine kitchen. Charlie’s licking batter from between his fingers when Jeremy turns to him, making him freeze with his tongue sticking out of his mouth. 

“Dude, gross.” Jeremy chuckles. It’s not like he hasn’t been sneaking little tastes every once in a while. Charlie sees him. He's not sneaky. “Care would kill me if she knew I was eating raw eggs.”

“Didn’t you complain once that she smacked your hand with a spoon when you tried to eat snickerdoodle dough? During Christmas?”

“Yeah, and that was  _ not _ fun.” His eyes go a bit hazy and Charlie chuckles. His boy is  _ so gone _ for his wife, which is a good thing. He begins to make a second batch of batter and begins to mix chunks of cut-up cooked bacon in with a little bit of maple syrup. “It was like waving a brownie square in front of Maddie’s nose.” The two of them snort before it fades away. There’s still the bit of tension hovering over them. “Was everything okay… last night?”

“He had an anxiety attack,” Charlie tells him as he soaps up a sponge to wipe off the counter. “It seemed to be a bad one. We had to do this new  _ five senses _ technique I read about on the internet. The one we used before didn’t work.” He scrubs at some sort of crusted food instead of looking at Jeremy, who just hums in response. “It seemed to work better than I thought it would.”

“That’s good.” His head bobs up and down out of the corner of Charlie’s eyes. “Did he sleep? Or did he wake up and get food like he usually does?”

“He got up to change and wash up, but then he came back to sleep. I think he was too tired and stressed to eat.”

“Hopefully he’s not too stressed to eat  _ bacon pancakes _ .” He sings the last two words and Charlie shakes his head. He loves Jeremy, but sometimes he understands Owen’s exhaustion when it comes to the two of them. “It's probably the only breakfast food Care will let me make.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ve burned everything else.”

“Sounds like Owen,” Charlie mumbles as he swipes a piece of bacon from the plate and chews on it. “Speaking off, I should probably go wake him up.”

“These’ll be done soon.”

Charlie heads back to the bedroom and pokes his head in. Owen’s still sleeping, but he’s kind of contorted into a question mark arch. His hair covers his eyes and Charlie kneels down next to the bed to brush some of those strands away.

His phone pings quietly in his pocket and he pulls it out to find a text from Maddie. It’s a long text asking about Owen and if he’s okay and Charlie smiles softly. She also sent a bunch of memes he doesn’t get but also seems to be about hanging in there. He leans back against the bed frame on the floor and turns his camera on Owen, snaps a quick photo, and shoots it to her. He shoves his phone into his pocket and turns back to the blonde… to his boyfriend.

He feels his cheeks heat up as he thinks about it. Sure, he and Owen have been fooling around since Vancouver. Kissing and  _ other things _ , but they’d never put a label on it. Once they moved in together, Maddie would periodically send him the “And they were roommates” vine and then ask him if they’d gotten together yet. Well, now he can tell her that they’re together, once Owen’s ready. Charlie’s stomach flutters at the thought that he can call Owen his boyfriend and hopes it wasn’t just a spur of the moment thing in the middle of an emotional moment.

Charlie turns his head as Owen takes a deep breath and lets it out. It’s a little shaky and Charlie turns to kneel next to his face.

“Good morning, sunshine,” he whispers as he brushes some hair from Owen’s face. His nose scrunches up and he yawns again. Like a cute little kitten. “How’d you sleep?”

“Okay.” Owen’s voice sounds raspy and Charlie’s heart stutters. He wipes at the crust from the corner of his eyes and gives him a soft smile. “I’m exhausted.”

Charlie chuckles. “Yeah,” he says, “me too.” He leans up to try and kiss Owen but the other boy shoves him away. 

“Ew, no,” Owen pushes Charlie’s face away with his hand, smushing his cheek, “morning breath.”

“Dude, let me kiss you.” Charlie struggles against Owen’s hand for a second, grinning and laughing before he gives up and just presses the sloppiest with-tongue kiss to his palm. Owen pulls his hand away in disgust, the same look he gave Charlie yesterday when he tried to shove his finger in his mouth in the car.

“I hate you.”

“Well, you’re gonna hate me even more if I eat all your pancakes.” Charlie flicks Owen’s hair and, while he’s distracted, darts in and pecks him on the lips.

The blonde wipes at his lips “Gross.” He scowls as Charlie moonwalks out of the room. Charlie chuckles as he shakes his butt, hears Owen groan behind him, and leaves him to wake himself up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought!
> 
> This fic has gone from 2 chapter to 3 because I want to add another chapter of Owen.


	3. Owen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter dedicated to fanaticalfollower.

Owen emerges in one of Charlie’s many hoodies he brought from home. This one is the same one he was wearing yesterday during the live and it smells like him. Owen brings the fabric of the collar to his nose, takes one more deep breath before he moves down the hallway and into the main area of his apartment.

The scent of bacon and pancakes permeates the whole house. Owen’s stomach grumbles, reminding him he hasn’t eaten in a while. Probably not since lunch or the snacks they had in the car before they watched the show and went live.

“Left a plate for you,” Jeremy’s voice comes from the couch area when he rounds the corner. 

Owen grabs utensils and his plate and plops down on the couch next to Charlie. He looks down at the brunette’s plate and, “Ew, Charlie, what the fuck are you eating?”

“Bacon pancakes…”

“With hot sauce and cheese?”

“Yeah.”

Jeremy laughs from the love seat, snorts into his bite of pancake and Owen glares at him. But it’s a friendly glare and Jeremy just wiggles his eyebrows in response. Charlie kind of scoot-hops over so that his whole side is pressed against Owen’s. The brunette’s still a little bit sleepy-morning soft, with his hair up in a bun, tiny wisps curling around his ears. His cheeks are puffed out with food as he shovels his weird concoction into his mouth.

“How the hell are you attracted to him?” Jeremy jokes. He's known about their attraction to each other, has even joked about it, but he doesn't know they finally used the _B-_ word last night. It sounds so juvenile to not be able to even say it in his head, but it's still so new and he's a bit shaky about everything. 

"Dude, I have no idea.” Owen flicks a piece of bacon at Charlie and Jeremy laughs again, running a hand through his hair. It's short because Carolynn cuts it, where Charlie and Owen have long hair and refuse to cut it. “And I don’t think I ever will.”

Charlie just sticks his tongue out at the blonde. Owen sighs and tucks into his food. The room goes silent except for the scraping of forks against plates and the crunch of bacon every so often. 

Owen’s still a little shaky from last night and he feels Charlie settle into him more, like an anchor and he loves how he doesn’t have to say anything.

It isn't the pancakes or the bacon or Jeremy telling them a funny Carolynn story or Charlie snuggling up against his side that breaks Owen. It's the innocuous little dish sitting on the coffee table in front of the couch. He didn't notice it at first glance, but he can see the small handful of pills and capsules that sit innocently inside it. He touches the edge of the little cup and takes a shuddering breath. If he looked, he'd probably find the Saturday morning slot of his weekly pill organizer empty. Charlie just gives him a soft smile when he looks over at the brunette and that's what breaks him.

He doesn’t realize it at first but there’s a stinging in his eyes that’s a prelude to tears. Owen puts his plate down on the table next to the dish and turns to press his nose, to hide, where Charlie’s neck meets his shoulder. He hears Jeremy and Charlie exchange words, but they’re muddled. It’s the same feeling as last night, something twisting in his chest. But it’s not anxiety and it’s not making him want to retreat. It’s the feeling of a weighted blanket over his shoulder, a comforting hug. Makes him feel warm and present. He feels warm lips press against his forehead as he shudders out a breath against Charlie’s neck.

“O?” He feels hands on his knees and looks up to see Jeremy kneeling in front of him, eyes soft and caring. “I’ve got to catch my flight, but I can stay if you want. What do you want us to do?”

Owen takes a deep breath and pulls himself together. After last night, he’s just feeling a bit overemotional, but he’s fine. Jeremy and Carolynn are going to be taking that road trip to sell their old house soon and Charlie’s doing a music thing in a week and he has a podcast interview tomorrow and he doesn’t want to be a burden. 

He opens his mouth to respond when Charlie speaks up. “Well, I was gonna stay a few more days anyway, so if you need to go, I think we’ll be fine.” He slings an arm over Owen’s shoulder and his skin tingles everywhere it touches Charlie’s. He’s not sure if it’s still a little bit of hypersensitivity left over from last night’s attack or if it’s just his reaction to _Charlie_.

“You sure, man?”

Owen loves Jeremy. He loves how the older boy knows how to give him space but always checks in when he’s not on top of his game. They aren’t as close as he and Charlie are-- that tends to happen when you share a space and a bed and your body with someone-- or as close as Maddie and Charlie got over the course of filming all of their cutesy fluffy scenes together. He’s like another older sibling and Carolynn’s like yet another person to add to his family and he loves them so much. But Jeremy’s also a full-grown adult-- whether he acts like it is a different story-- and he’s selling and buying a _new house_ with his _wife_.

“No, you go. Tell Care we say hi and good luck.” He leans over, out of Charlie’s arms, and wraps his arms tightly around Jeremy. It’s a little awkward with the angle and with Jeremy kneeling on the floor, but they make it work. Charlie pushes into his back and touches Jeremy’s pale hand over his so Owen’s smushed in a sandwich between his bandmates. 

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” he chuckles a little wetly, “I can handle Charlie for a few days. And Bindi should be fine in a few weeks, so I’ll have her around too.” He pulls out of the hug and shakes his head. “I just hate how people think they’re entitled to our lives beyond what we choose to share with them.”

“Real shitty,” Charlie repeats.

Jeremy checks his watch and scowls at it. “I gotta go if I’m gonna beat traffic at the airport.”

“What traffic?” Owen jokes. “This is Oklahoma. We’ve got more cows than people. So,” he laughs, “unless all the cows decide to get on a plane, you’re not gonna hit any traffic.”

Jeremy smiles and laughs and his eyes crinkle at the sides and Owen feels happy again. There’s still that little rock in the pit of his stomach that’s been there since last night, tempered by Charlie’s warmth against his side and Jeremy’s home-cooked breakfast in his stomach, but still there.

“We’ll call you when we’re on the road, okay?” Jeremy says as he pats Owen’s knee and stands up. Charlie and Owen follow him as he slides on his jacket, the puffy marshmallow jacket that makes him look adorably stupid. Charlie drops his hunter’s cap on Jeremy’s head and ties it so tight that they can’t see Jeremy’s eyes anymore. The three of them laugh, a little release from the tension of a few minutes before. Jeremy eventually unties the hat and settles it properly on his head. 

“Good luck with your house,” Charlie says as he hugs Jeremy, almost comically swallowed by the fluff. “And your wife.”

“Thanks?” Jeremy pulls away and one of his eyebrows goes up. “This isn’t gonna be like with you and Owen. Not as much chaos.” Jeremy has some funky eyebrows and they can do some fun things and Owen laughs as Charlie scowls. Charlie scowling is Owen’s third favorite look on Charlie, behind his just-been-kissed look and his beautiful smile.

“Hopefully, we’ll see you soon,” Owen says as he’s wrapped up in his own marshmallow hug. Jeremy presses a soft kiss to his cheek and pulls away to pinch them like a grandma. “If they don’t announce a season 2, I say we just film it ourselves. Grab Kenny and kidnap Maddie and Jadah and just do it all.” Jeremy laughs as he pulls away, shakes his head.

He leaves them with more hugs and cheek kisses and Charlie comes over to grab Owen’s hand as they look out the window. Jeremy’s rental pulls out of the driveway and they watch it until it’s gone.

“What do you wanna do now?” Owen asks.

“Well,” Charlie turns him towards the couch and coffee table, “I’m gonna go grab my phone while you take your meds, and then we can figure it out.”

Owen watches him walk around the corner before he finally moves. He grabs the few pills and washes them down with the last of Jeremy’s water. He takes the abandoned plates to the kitchen and begins to wash up. He grimaces at the pieces of cheese and little drips of hot sauce left on Charlie’s plate. Owen doesn’t understand how he can actually love someone who eats such disgusting things, but then Charlie will smile at him or cuddle into him and he remembers why.

There’s still a little bit of shakiness in his bones that will eventually go away, but he takes a deep breath and closes his eyes against the feeling. He really hopes that those girls from last night don’t leak his address. But there’s a tiny part of him, way in the back of his brain, that’s kind of thankful that it’s one of the boys and not Maddie. He hates that it’s him, but he’d rather deal with stalkers as an adult rather than creeps spreading a minor’s address and sending her things.

Owen jumps slightly when hands slide around his waist and lips brush softly against the back of his neck. He can smell lavender and Charlie’s shampoo as the brunette rests his forehead between his shoulder blades. His mind settles just a little bit more and he wipes his wet hands on his shirt before holding Charlie’s hands to his waist, the back of his hands to Owen’s palm.

“Maddie wants to Facetime,” Charlie mumbles softly against his skin. “She’s worried about you.”

“Okay.”

Owen turns in the circle of Charlie’s arms and the brunette looks so fucking soft in the morning light, hair pulled up into a bun, smile on his face, eyes sparkling like fireworks. Ambers and greens and blues and even shards of gold.

“Come on.” Charlie’s touch is so gentle as he circles his fingers around Owen’s wrist and leads him back to the couch. He pulls out his phone and it only rings for a moment before Maddie’s face fills up the whole screen. Owen smiles at her, soft to match the energy in the room.

“Hey, O.” Her voice crackles for a second and he wants to make that familiar joke about her wifi, but the situation doesn’t seem appropriate. She’s wearing different earrings than yesterday-- starfruit, he thinks-- and her hair’s a little mussed from what he can only guess is sleep. It’s Saturday and he knows she _refuses_ to do school work on Saturday. “How you feeling?” 

Owen shrugs. “Tired.” He’s been feeling that heaviness of wanting to fall back asleep for a while now. And he didn’t really sleep fitfully last night, brain still active even as he snuggled closer to Charlie. Even feeling the other boy next to him, curled around him as tight as a weighted blanket, couldn’t settle his body down.

Maddie gives him a soft smile and actually touches her phone screen. Like she wants to reach through and hug him. He wouldn’t mind that. Maddie hugs are the best… even better than Charlie’s. She just kind of hugs with her whole being, where Charlie’s either enthusiastic or horny depending on his mood and who he’s hugging.

“Did Jer leave already?” she asks.

“Yeah. He’s gotta get back to Care so they can start packing,” Charlie responds as Owen closes his eyes. He leans his head against Charlie’s arm and sighs, snuggles closer. Charlie moves for a moment to move the checkered blanket from the back of the couch to cover Owen. “I’m excited for them. A new house. Damn. They really are adults.”

Maddie chuckles. “The Shadas and Booboo are probably the only adults under 30 on this cast.”

“Hey, what about me ‘n’ Owen?” Owen can practically hear the pout in his voice.

“You have the pallet of a child, Charlie… and the handwriting of one.” She rolls her eyes and scoffs. “And the shit you and Owen get into? Have you seen those compilations of the stupidity y’all get up to?”

“Meanie.”

Owen chuckles and curls further into Charlie’s arms, blocking out the light by shoving his face against the brunette’s pectoral. He hears Charlie and Maddie continue to talk, but it eventually fades into the background.

He drifts in and out, inhaling deep draughts of Charlie’s scent, something musky and tangy, mixed with lavender from his bedroom. It’s heady, the mixture, and Owen likes it more than he should. Charlie’s laugh rumbles against his ear and Maddie’s sweet voice breaks through every once in a while, laughter more musical than Jeremy’s chuckle or Charlie’s breathy laugh. 

He falls asleep listening to the chatter of Charlie and Maddie brainstorming new songs. The last thing he feels is Charlie’s fingers tangling in his hair and tucking the blanket tighter around him, a gentle kiss pressed to his forehead and Maddie’s crackling coo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end.
> 
> Listen, these boys are so soft and I love them so much. I would have kept Jeremy, but we do know he left earlier than Charlie.
> 
> Let me know what you guys thought!
> 
> Might be a bonus part with Maddie and Charlie eventually, but this part completes the story.

**Author's Note:**

> There will be a fun second chapter to follow this heaviness.
> 
> Let me know what you guys thought! I love hearing your comments!


End file.
